Reviving AI that is DOA      

I tried to quit the show.  It was Season 3.  My mother started watching the show.  This was my sign that AI was no longer hip and trendy.  I boycotting that Fantasia Barrino year.  I found new hobbies and new shows.  Life was fine, but Idol kept bringing me back.  She was the girlfriend I just couldn’t shake.  For me, that “girlfriend” took the form of Carrie Underwood.  She brought me back to the show.  The thought of meeting a new “Carrie” kept me intrigued for the next five years.  Some would argue that Carrie Underwood would be just another news anchor in Oklahoma if not for the platform of AI. That would be a bummer….(To borrow an ad term from Miller Lite – that would be a trav-sham-mockery). On the positive ledger of AI, at its best, you gotta love the excitement, the office chatter, the format and most importantly…Idol was the fertile ground where major artists were found.  Kelly Clarkson.  Jennifer Hudson.  Kellie Pickler.  Chris Daughtry. And of course…. Carrie.

Unfortunately, the last few years of AI reminded me of my scalp in my early 20’s.  With every passing year there has less and less reason for joy.  The Idol franchise was transformed from Fabio to Mr. Clean.

American Idol lost its way.  Let me pinpoint the wrong turns…

Too many theme shows that viewers don’t care about.  It’s hard to find true creative spirit in a contestant when they are forced to sing Elvis and Sinatra.  Those picks would have been fantastic choices….in 1965.  Not now.  You want relevant artists in contemporary genres and then you give them these choices?  It would be like telling English students they can write an essay on their life, but can’t use any words invented in after the Middle Ages.

The emphasis on the judges’ role on the show is WAY too much!  This year I would love to stopwatch the screen time of contestants vs. judges.  I’ve seen enough of Simon, Kara, Ellen and Randy.   After 1500 reviews, Simon and Randy don’t have a whole lot of unique observations in the tank.  Ellen needs to find a new role on the show…like a sideline reporter or backstage.  DioGuardi is pretty, but adds little.  The best seasons of AI focused on what the finalists would sing and do.  You could jettison the judges’ comments.  We knew they were good and compelling.

This pains me to say.  I miss Paula.  She was wacky and unpredictable.  Thos two elements are desperately missing this year. 

Ryan Seacrest got a big head.  In the early years, he added so much to the show.  He was quick, witty and the smoothest person the set.  That’s why he got 7 different jobs.  Now, he is a distraction, long winded and his interplays with Simon remind me of a bad radio morning show that completely cuts out the audience.

I don’t care about the finalists.  They lost the “Olympic Coverage treatment” of these individuals.  Stir some emotions AI producers!  Make me feel SOMETHING about these people.  I have more connection to the strangers in a karaoke bar in Sioux City.

There is a talent void.  Maybe after nearly a decade..all the good singers are found?  I have an idea to fix this.  More on that later.

Too many darn rules.  AI has made a fortune.  They can cover the rights to just about any song.  How about a few weeks of “Sing whatever the heck you want night”.???

There has been an abundance of contestants (especially the last few years) that had the personality of toast.  Additionally, I get the feeling a lot of these people have no clue what kind of artist they want to be.  It’s like they are a college student with a “General Studies” major for four years.  Think about the successes of AI.

Carrie Underwood – Country

Chris Daughtry – Rock

Adam Lambert – Theatrical

Kelly Clarkson – Pop

Jennifer Hudson – Broadway

Much like the AI franchise, too many contestants have lost their way and true spirit.

Here’s how to fix Idol for one more glorious year before that new Cowell show takes over.

1.   Get the band back for one more year.  Simon.  Paula.  Randy.

2.   Ellen talks to fans in the crowd

3.   Kara watches from home.  No offense.  Just one too many cooks in the kitchen..and this isn’t about the judges.

4.   Have AI alumni do produced pieces that tell us what they are up to now (both good stories and bad)

5.   More back stories on the contestant.

6.   Shorten up the season.

7.   This one is key.  Go to bars, musicals, and recording studios.  Get some talented MUSICIANS.  Think Adam Lambert, Chris Daughtry, Carly Smithson etc.  Just make sure they don’t have a current deal.  Past recording deal?  Yep.  That’s fine…and…preferred. 

8.   Find the entertaining non winners like Sanjaya, William Hung, Pants on the Ground guy.  Head to You Tube.  I can find you 25 contenders in one day of surfing the web.

9.   No themes.  Unless, they are extremely vague like “Song you have heard on the radio” night or “Songs recorded in the USA” night

10.Original song night.  Look, they will eventually all be doing their own songs or lesser known songs, let’s start that process now.  There are 5,000 songwriters waiting tables in Nashville alone.  Tap into that.

11.  Minimize that AI theme song.  Enough already!  Play it once a show.  That’s good.

12.  Return the Q&A segment from viewers.

13.  Highlight various excerpts from AI bloggers / journalists.  Think of Bruce Miller’s witty comments, positive and negative words about the people in the Finals.  These people need a thick skin to survive.  Get used to it.

14.  Ban the following phrases from the AI vocabulary “Song choice”, “100 – whatever percent”, “Dawg”, “This is American Idol”, “Sing the phone book”,  basically 70% of judges comments.

15.  No more “Up with People” singing montages.

16.  The Ford commercials go into the commercial break.

17.  Easy on the ballads.  Give me some tempo.

18.  Bring back the homeless kid living in his car..Josiah Leming.

19.  Shoot on location at a bar or arena one week

20  Show the votes.  Have breakdowns by state.  Think election night.  The drawn out mysterious spooky music bed is dated – much like the franchise.

I believe I may be a little too invested into this little tv show.  It’s sad really.  I just want one more season…done right.  I’ve put in about 409 hours into American Idol…which coincidentally is the length of Taylor Hicks’s post Idol career. 

Send all hate mail to tony@ksux.com.

Tony Michaels

KSUX Program Director / Morning show host / AI Addict